Boyfriend 5.0 Vs Husband 1.0

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Housewife

---

Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind:

Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.

Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Regards,
IT Support Helpdesk

---

Just for laugh

我的家就在这里; There's No Place I'd Rather Be

华文版是好笑的咯!

Happy 42nd National Day to Singapore!

如果。。。IF...

如果我需要帮忙，我会打给我朋友。
IF I need help, I will call my friends.

如果我生病没力气去看医生，我会打给我妈妈。
IF I am sick and have no energy to visit the doctor, I will call my mum.

如果我撞车了，我会打给我同事。
IF I had a car accident, I will call my colleagues.

如果我快要生产了，我会打九九五。
IF I am going to give birth, I will call Nine Nine Five.

如果我被打抢了，我会打九九九。
IF I get rob, I will call Nine Nine Nine.

如果以上事情真的发生了，我绝对不会打给他！
IF any of the above really happen, I will definitely not call HIM!

因为他都不爱接电话!
This is because HE doesn't pick up calls!

A new workstation

Due to company expansion, the workstations in the company had reached the stage of demand over supply. Therefore, the management rented another big office on the 4th floor since 6months ago and the new office was ready for operation recently.

There was a reshuffle of seats among the department. Some department moved down to the 4th floor, while some department remained on the 5th floor but changed of lorong (that's what we called in the office. It actually refers to the rows of cubicles).

For me, I had moved from an underexposed to an overexposed workstation! When I'm always late for work, I usually take the cargo lift and "secretly" enter the office by the back door. Previously my workstation was near to the back door entrance and therefore I could enter the office without walking pass too many people. This back door access requires approval and therefore not many people have access to it. The toilet behind this door is also much cleaner compared to the toilet near the main entrance and I walk in and out of this door so frequently throughout the day.

But NOW, my seat is near the FRONT door entrance and management like to walk in and out from THAT door! If I take the back door, I will need to walk pass many lorongs in order to get to my seat. So means the whole world will know what time I report to work lor!! This seat is also near to 3 main meeting rooms and therefore it will be very noisy as employees like to stand around the room and talk before and after their meetings!

I hate my new workstation!! I can forsee more working from home....

I will miss this seat!
The new overexposed workstation